You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops