What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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angelo snyder is not ga

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Praise Paisley

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops