A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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My name is Jeff

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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