An Italian leaves the mofia

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops