-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's big and long? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats two plus two? Miles

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did david give back? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops