What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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