What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

GAWS SI EKOJITNA

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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