What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You know what's natural? Bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops