On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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