Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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A chicken and a horse go into a bar due to an imperative of an earlier joke, they notice that there are flowers on the bar. The flowers are red and blue. They wonder what they could be.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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YES! EXACTLY!

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops