What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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