In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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