Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

hear hear

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops