You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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