A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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Justin Bieber.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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Nickleback.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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