How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops