My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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BIG PENIS

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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YO FACE

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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Whats worse than one beast thing? Two beast things. Whats worse than two beast things? The holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust? Three beast things.

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In Soviet Russia, life was very hard due to the failing economy and oppressive government.

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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Women's rights

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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