- Anti Joke

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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