What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Where's my tractor?

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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This is not a joke

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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