A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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