How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 gay men walked into a bar, The next day they want back to the bar, They went back on the third day but only 1 man came back out and he was in tears, This was because the other man had a cardiac arrest and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

thumb_up thumb_down +6

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops