How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops