what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I just found out i have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

This joke is funny

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops