Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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Take this and put it- No.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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