How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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