What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Knock Knock! Come in..

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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