How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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