Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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womens rights.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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