A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops