Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a car? You build it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Justin Bieber hits puberty

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sixty... eight

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops