Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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What comes after 69? 70

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everyone dislike this

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cancer

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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This sentence is a lie.

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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This is an inappropriate joke and is meant to make you laugh

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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