Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

That's what she didn't say

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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