What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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Nickelback.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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That's what SHE said!

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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