Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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