Derp

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops