Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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