what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops