Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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women's rights

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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Keanu Reaves

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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