What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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96

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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