I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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What's the deal with brown?

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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96

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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