Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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