Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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