A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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pudding

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Psychics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops