- Anti Joke

Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

mental kid

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

Your future.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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