(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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