How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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hi will

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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Jewwy Jewstein

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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How many light bulbs? 1

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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lol

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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