Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

oh hai

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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