Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Donkey lips

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Donald Trump.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops