What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops