What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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VAGINA.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops