What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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